Wednesday, January 30, 2008

week 2 of working out

Tonight I finished my second week of working out with my trainers. I still have one more workout to complete on my own. My trainers(Johnny and Adam) are cool. They don't yell at us or anything like that. They push us in the group when we need to be pushed. Thankfully, I did not fall or embarass myself too much this week.
I have realized that I am very limited in what I can do physically. Right now, I have exercise induced asthma pretty bad. Adam has us "jog" 2 laps to warm up usually, and this week Johnny had us on the track as well and it takes my breath away. I feel like it may come across that I am not trying, but I am. Just walking makes me out of breath. I know that as the weight comes off and I continue to workout breathing will get easier!
I may be sore; I may be tired; I may not be getting all my studying done, but I am feeling really good about myself! Bonus: I lost 3 pounds this week:)

Monday, January 28, 2008

Natalie Grant-AWAKEN

Natalie Grant is one of my favorite singers. I have almost every CD of hers. The CD called Awaken had never been one that I was too crazy about. For whatever reason, about 3 weeks ago I pulled out the CD and it is amazing. God has been speaking to me through so many of these songs. I'm posting the lyrics to a song off that album called 'MAKE ME OVER'. The words have truly become a prayer for me.

I've been silent instead of speaking up
Gave my advice instead of giving love
I have been unfair, faithless and unkind
I have shut my eyes just so i would stay blind
It's not what i meant to do
Cause i wanna honor you

Make me over, make me new
Make me a mirror, a reflection of you
Take me all apart
Take me to your heart and pull me closer
Oh, Jesus, make me over

Take away the pride that whispers in the dark
Take the stone out of the middle of my heart
Hidden underneath my insecurities
Is the servant that you've destined me to be
But day after precious day
I get in my own way

Make me over, make me new
Make me a mirror, a reflection of you
Take me all apart
Take me to your heart and pull me closer
Sweet savior, make me over

I am only made of your imagining
I'm dust and clay on the wind
Wash me in the river of your sacrifice
Until i'm changed, purified
Take me all apart
Take me to your heart and pull me closer
My Jesus, make me over
Make me over

Monday, January 21, 2008

My First Workout

If I could make this font shaky, I would because that is how I feel right now. I just got back from my first workout with the Time To Change trainer. On mondays my trainers name is Johnny. He had a big circuit workout set up for us where we did each exercise for about 1 1/2 minutes.
Things were going well until I had to go up and down the stairs. Then I got back and had to do lunges. Johnny told me he wanted me to take a little larger step while I did them. Well, I stepped out with my right foot...Let me explain that I have very lax(loose) ligaments. I have fallen many times in my life just from walking with nothing to trip over. So, you see where this is going. I step out with my right foot and down I went. My ankle gave right out on me. So, embarrassing!
Then I moved on to the next station and felt very queezy and light headed. I thought, "OH, NO" So, I told him I had to take a break. I sat down for a few minutes. Well, more like 5 minutes. Then I got back with it and finished my workout.
I have been done working out for about an hour now and I am still very shaky. I'm really going to have to figure out this whole eating thing. At 4:30 I had a banana and 2 slices of bread with melted soy cheese. My workout was at 6:30. I've never been told I have problems with my glucose but I felt so shaky during my workout. If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do for my next work out I would appreciate it. I think I will try to eat a little later next time.
Pray that I can walk to my classes tomorrow!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Time To Change

Whether I am ready or not, it it TIME TO CHANGE! Before I went on Christmas break, a friend that goes to church with me here in Lexington randomly asked me what my BMI was one sunday as we were leaving church. She said, "is it greater than 30?" I laughed and said, "Oh, yeah, I have that number way beat!"
Then she told me about a free exercise program that the Johnson center(UK's gym) was offering to people with a BMI of 30 or more. All you had to do was apply, get a fitness screening, and wait to find out if you got accepted. It was on a first come first serve basis. It just so happens I got there fast enough. I owe a huge thanks to AMANDA!(especially because she is always encouraging me to keep getting healthy)
The program put us into groups of 5 and we will be working out with a trainer twice a week and then we have to do at least one other work out on our own time. It starts on Monday for me since that is one of my training days. I will also be going on Wednesdays as well. It lasts until the middle of April. Three times during the semester they will open the gym early for us participants and have one big circuit workout. They are going to take midpoint and final measurements to see what kind of progress we have made.
This is a great thing for me. I think that it may be very possible to lose another 30 pounds before I go out on rotation! There are many bonuses to that kind of result. The first and most selfish is that at that weight I should be able to fit back into many of my business/casual business clothes that I had to wear when I worked for Casual Corner Clothing. The second will be that I will feel so much better. I will have stamina to be on my feet all day seeing patients. If a doc has a long workday, I will be able to survive! Hopefully, my blood pressure will be stellar and I may be able to cut back on my medicine. Maybe I won't have reflux anymore. Most definately, my self esteem should go up, up, up! I should be able to destress much better especially since exercise will hopefully be a new habit by the time I go out on rotations.
Pray for me friends! Pray that I will deal with these demons that I have allowed to continually lead me to eating and being sedentary! Pray that I will handle all the little bad things in life in a positive way instead of destructive way! Pray for me as I get started on a TIME TO CHANGE!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Pot Roast

I am trying to do a little more cooking than I have done in the past year. Most of the time, I just don't like to cook since it is just me. I will usually do easy things like putting a lean cuisine or healthy choice in the microwave.
Last week I fixed white chicken chili and it lasted the entire week. This week I did a pot roast which was awesome if I do say so my self!
Here is how I made it: I bought a bottom round roast and followed the cooking directions on the package. I can't remember exactly how much mine weighed but I cooked it for 2 hours on 300. Before I put the roast in the oven I rubbed sea salt and pepper on both sides. I cut up potatoes, carrots, and onions and placed in an aluminum foil packet and cooked along side the roast for 2 hours.
Another way you can cook all of this is to put it in a crock pot for about 5-6 hours until the meat is cooked through. That used to be the way we would prepare sunday lunch when I was growing up and was one of my favorite meals.
I don't have a crock pot or a roasting pan. So, I cooked the meat in a bread pan so I had to improvise on roasting the veggies which turned out delicious! I'm not sure what I'm going to cook next week, but I will share it with you. I'm mainly trying to cook more because I feel like I eat better food when I prepare it myself.

Sunday, January 13, 2008


The following is an email that i sent to a friend who I normally email when I can't sleep and I wanted to share it with all of you:

Have you ever wondered what it will take to fill that void in your heart? That
thing that you are always looking for and can't quite put your finger on it?
The reason why no matter how much you want to, you just can't let others really
in? Will you ever consider yourself worthy of anyone's love?
Most of the time I won't even let myself go there--to those questions. I try to
press on and pretend that everything inside of me is great. I focus on others
and being a help to them. I think that I most often feel if I can help them and
make them feel good then I can help myself. It seems that thought doesn't leave
much room for me to focus on me.
I don't know what it will take to complete my heart. I know that sometimes I
think a guy could complete me, but I don't know that answer. Sometimes, I think
God will fill that void. That probably is truth, but I often stop at completely
letting Him in. It is so hard to imagine that someone, anyone, even God himself
could love me fully, completely, wholly, despite all the things that I
am-despite all the things about me that I consider unlovable.
I think that i included you in my update about the past few months. Depression
is not fun. No matter how dark things got. On the days when I thought it would
be better if I never had to wake up again, I felt God telling me that I was
worth it. I felt deep down inside of me that I was lovable, that I was someone
who matters, that I was good. I'm still having those moments of feeling
unworthy, of not being able to comprehend how someone could love me.
I've started memorizing Hebrew 11. The first verse says,"faith is the assurance
of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen." The word conviction
has caught my attention everytime i repeated those words to myself. I have
pondered over that statement-the conviction of things not seen. Maybe I
shouldn't question such things. Maybe I should just let go and have some
conviction that God really did send Jesus to die for me. On the cross, He was
able to cover my sins, my shortcomings, my UNWORTHINESS. He makes me lovable;
He makes me desirable; He makes me good; He makes me whole.
Though I can't really see my spiritual self--I need some conviction that I can
be that girl that God has always known I was capable of being--confident,
loving, accepting herself, ABLE TO LET CHRIST LOVE EVERY PART OF ME, whole and
complete, filled with His love! My faith hasn't been very assured and it
certainly hasn't possessed conviction, but I think right now God is teaching me.