Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Change is HARD

It truly is so hard to change! This past week and a half has been challenging. I did pretty good last week. There were a few days when foodwise I could have done tons better. This week food has pretty much stunk for me. It is hard to explain to people who don't know anything about addictions. Something welled up inside of me this week and I felt compelled to eat. I don't know if I didn't eat the right kinds of foods or what but it has just been down right horrible at times. Ihave even questioned myself as to why I'm trying to change and can I truly change!

I have been reading this book about Moses taking the slaves out Egypt and have just gotten to when Joshua finally has the go ahead after they wander for 40 years. It is a fictional book recounted by a demon who was one of the original angels that fell with Lucifer. Its interesting to take into account how satan places the right demons to whisper the right doubts into the Isrealites heads at the right time. I am amazed how it was so easy for God's people to say it would be better to go back to Egypt because even if they were slaves, they knew what to expect day in and day out. That life of bondage was comfortable and it might not have been worth living but it was THEIR LIFE. It was all they had ever known.

So when satan's demons put that doubt into their ear, it wasn't hard for them to want to go back. We know how the story ends, but they didn't. They didn't know all the goodness that God had waiting for them. If they did, they wouldn't have waited in the desert for 40 years due to their disbelief and disobedience! So, I've been mulling around in my head this strange war that we live in where just on the other side of the river God has such great things, but unbeknown to us demons are right there trying to get us to go back to what we have known. My friends, we must find the courage to resist what has been enslaving us! We must trust in God to lead us into the promised land. For me that is a land of good health with healthy eating habits!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

mid week update

Have you spent the past few days thinking of why you are overweight/over eat? I really encourage you to do that exercise! Ever since I wrote that blog, I have moved onto a feeling of worry--feeling that I might not ever be able to truly succeed at this weight loss. After all I have even been on this very blog and proclaimed that I was going to kick the habit, but found myself right back in my old ways.
So how do we really make progress in this journey? First, I encourage each of you to find a prayer warrior. You need someone to interceed on your behalf especially for those days when you are not strong enough. God has provided me with that person. When I ask her to pray for me, I know that she does.
Second, I encourage you to find someone to hold you accountable to the very journey that you are on. It could be the same person as your prayer warrior. This needs to be a person who won't judge you when you fall into temptation, but will simply set you straight. This person won't make it easy on you either! God sent me this person over 3 years ago. I wish that I knew him better, but I will tell you what I know of him.
Andrew Henderson has been a personal trainer for quite some time here in Knoxville. When I first met him he was in the process of opening up his own personal training studio. I had met with him a few times prior to my father passing away, and I was quite surprised that he came to my dad's funeral. He was there to support me through a pretty hard time. Over the past 3 years, Andrew has randomly(I think of them as spirit led) texted, emailed, or called me to find out about my weight loss journey. He hasn't judged me. He has encouraged me when I was doing well. He has told me to get back with it when I have failed. He doesn't sugar coat things, but he doesn't make you feel like crap about yourself. You need someone like this in your life to tackle this journey that we are going on. (While he doesn't know I'm doing this, if you or someone you know is in Knoxville near Northshore or Hardin valley and needs a personal trainer, check out his studio here .)
So your homework is this...First be real with yourself about why you are overweight. Incidentally, those very reasons are the things that your prayer warrior should be interceding for you as those are the lies that Satan has placed in your heart and mind. Second, find a person that you know will pray for you. If you do not have anyone, then please give me the opportunity to pray for you. Last, you need that person who will hold you accountable and not allow you to fall off the beaten path.
Focus on these things this week. Let's get started!

Monday, August 17, 2009

I am overweight/I over eat because......

-I love food!
-it is all I have ever known
-it is my identity
-I can count on it to be there whenever I need it
-it is my excuse for feeling unlovable, ugly, and lonely
-I eat when I'm bored, stressed, happy, or sad
-food doesn't judge me
-its easy to be this way and SO hard to change
-I'm afraid of failing
-it is my drug of choice
-it protects me
-it is a constant in my life
-it prevents me from truly being seen
-it is my addiction
-it is my idol

Did it make you uncomfortable to read this? Could you identify with it? Could you replace overweight/over eat with your own sin in your life and relate to the reasons why it happens over and over again when you really don't want to be involved in this relationship with SIN anymore?
Recently, I read a fiction book about Celtic people. In that book, their wise men encourage people to name a land that may overwhelm them. They say that in naming something, it no longer can have a hold on you. I am calling this place in my life, ENTANGLEMENT. In Hebrews 12:1 it says “Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
Yes, I did survive my rotational year, but I went back to my old ways because I was overwhelmed with life. I didn't lose the desire to change; I just got all tangled us again. I plan on revamping this blog and I am asking whoever reads this to please pass my blog along to other people who struggle specifically with obesity. Maybe you have already won this battle and I would love to have you email me and tell me about it so I can feature you here on this blog.
Over the next many months, I plan on sharing with you how God is working in my life, exercise tips, recipes, etc. For those of you coming across this blog and understanding this struggle, Christ is the answer. He is our saving Grace and He will be our healing power in this struggle. If you go on to read the rest of Hebrews 12, it speaks of resisting sin to the point of shedding blood. Christ did that for us. He went to the pits of hell and on the 3rd day He rose again. It won't be easy, if you are like me you have been ENTAGLED for quite some time. However, bit by bit, we will let go of the hold food has on us.
Feel free to email me anytime: