Wednesday, June 6, 2007

here I am again

As if I didn't write enough of my thoughts for cyberspace to read. This blog is going to be all about my never ending struggle in living in the bondage of obesity. I have lost weight in the past and I have even had successes, but I always end back up in the chains. Most people say they don't know why they are overweight. I do. Its easy to be comfortable in your misery. Its easy to be unhappy with yourself. Its easy to hide yourself away through food and in return through many, many, many pounds.
By even starting this blog, I'm freaking out. I'm thinking what if I can't do this? What if I just end up gaining more weight? What if? Today I'm going to start anew once again. I'm praying that I will finally lay ALL of this down at Jesus feet. That's one thing a lot of people don't like to address-obesity is a sin. Well, the act of getting there is a sin. Most of us would not be overweight if we did not over eat. Most of us obese people have made sin our friend, our comfort, and our god.
So, if you are reading my blog it is because I want you to be my prayer warrior. I want you to be my encouragement. I want you to hold me accountable to what seems to be my never ending journey.
Today, I worked out for the first time in a long time. I can't remember the last time I worked out. So, my goal for this week starting today is to work out a total of 3 days for 30 minutes. My food goal for the week is to write down everything I eat and no more cokes. IF you see me with a coke, take it out of my hand!!(I"m not even kidding, and I know a few of you will really do this!) My spiritual goal for the week is to truly get back to a daily quiet time!
Check in here weekly to see how I'm doing. Other than that I'm sure I will get on here more than that and write.

Below is a poem I wrote sometime ago that seemed to sum up what my weight issue is truly about. I hope it becomes part of my inspiration!

Behind these prison walls, I have been for so long
That I call this place my home
With every hurt and pain, every brick was laid
And I don't even know I'm lonely
Cause this is all I've ever known
And if onlyI would take the key I possess and unlock my happiness
Live this life I have to live
Stand in the freedom that you give
Take hold of who you are and what I could be
I would find myself completely free;
Oh, how good it would feel to be free

But, I return to those walls, and walk my quiet halls
No one can hurt me here
In my barren rooms of my own sad solitude
And I don't even know what I'm missing
Cause this is all I've ever known
And if onlyI would take the key I possess and unlock my happiness
Live this life I have to live
Stand in the freedom that you give
Take hold of who you are and what I could be
I would find myself completely free;
Oh, how good it would feel to be free

So I took the key because I had to see just how it felt to be free
And the walls came down
Healing for my hurt and pain, tearing down the bricks that were laid
I just walk away
Cause this is all I ever want to know
And I finally, yes, I finally
Used that key I posessed; I unlocked my happiness
I'm living this life I have to live
Standing in the freedom I've been given
I'm finding out just who you are and what I can be
And I'm finally breaking free
Oh, how good it feels to be free
Free....Free

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