week 3

This week has just been a week for me. I have worked out a lot more than normal. I have to say thanks to my great PA friends because they keep encouraging me to stay active.
Last night I was thinking about what I might look like if I lost half of me. It is actually quite scary. I think the hard thing would be to lose the weight and still not be happy with me. I feel like I have to be ok with me now, with who I am right in this moment. I think then and only then that when I do lose ALL the weight, it won't matter what half of me looks like!

My first goal

Well, I have set my first weight loss goal. I want to lose 25 pounds by mid september. I feel pretty confident right now that I can do it. If I meet my goals each week then I should see the results. The only thing that worries me is the fact that this is the first time since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism that I am trying to lose weight. I'm not sure what effect that will have. I certainly know it hasn't helped in the weight department. Things are looking up and I'm excited for what the future holds!!

week 2

YEAH! I met my fitness goal this week. I worked out three times for at least 30 minutes. I also joined the local Y here in Lexington and am starting back with water aerobics. Having a scheduled class time seems to help me out a lot. Plus, I have some great friends that I am in school with that are making me go work out with them. So, this next week I want to up my workouts to 4 days a week.
Also, I am going to start writing down calories in addition to journaling my food. The coke thing is still not under control, but I am doing much better in that area. If I drink one this week I will at least be counting it in my calories.
My mindset has been kind of the low point of the week. So many times this past week I just felt like there is truly NO way that I will ever be able to get to a healthy weight. I am scared that I can't do. I hate where I am at in this area of my life. I don't want to get heavier, but I don't want to make the sacrifices to make changes in my life. So the big question is do I stay miserable where I am at or do I work my butt off(literally) to achieve something in my life???
I still don't have the answers so I guess we will have to stay tuned and find out together!!

week 1

Well, it was a start. It wasn't perfect but I did better than the week before and the week before that and I guess that is all I can ask of myself. I did not meet most of my goals but I worked on them. I only went 2 full days without drinking coke. However, the rest of the days, I limited myself to only drinking coke at one meal. I wrote down most of what I ate. As far as the quiet times go they were lacking. I also worked out only twice instead of three times.
A "blessing" for me has been that we have to walk to class right now instead of riding the bus to the college of health sciences. It takes about 10 minutes one way so that is extra movement for me.
Today, I started the new week off right by swimming for 30 minutes. YEAH! It was fun and hard at the same time. I haven't been in the pool in about six months and have lost all my endurance. So, my goals for this week are pretty much the same as last. Foodwise, I want to journal everything I eat. I want to cut back on the cokes even more especially since we learned in our oral health class that they are basically "Acid on your teeth." Workout wise I want to stick with 30 minutes 3 times a week. Spiritually, I have to have my quiet times.
OH, I did not lose any weight this past week. One HUGE struggle is going homes on the weekends. My mom doesn't cook very much and we eat out alot. So, I am going to have to start making better choices when I eat out. Also, for the 3 hour drive back and forth, I have to start packing healthy food with me.
So, that is all for this week. Hang in there with me! Thanks for the encouragement!

cokes-agghh

So, thus far I have had only one coke a day. I went 24 hours without a coke but have been having really bad headaches ever since then. I'm not sure if they are caffeine related or if they are sinus headaches. Other than that I feel pretty good. Honestly, I think I probably drank 2-3 20 oz cokes a day.
It definately is harder than it has ever been for me to quit drinking cokes. I'll get there though!

325

So this is me..all 325 pounds.

here I am again

As if I didn't write enough of my thoughts for cyberspace to read. This blog is going to be all about my never ending struggle in living in the bondage of obesity. I have lost weight in the past and I have even had successes, but I always end back up in the chains. Most people say they don't know why they are overweight. I do. Its easy to be comfortable in your misery. Its easy to be unhappy with yourself. Its easy to hide yourself away through food and in return through many, many, many pounds.
By even starting this blog, I'm freaking out. I'm thinking what if I can't do this? What if I just end up gaining more weight? What if? Today I'm going to start anew once again. I'm praying that I will finally lay ALL of this down at Jesus feet. That's one thing a lot of people don't like to address-obesity is a sin. Well, the act of getting there is a sin. Most of us would not be overweight if we did not over eat. Most of us obese people have made sin our friend, our comfort, and our god.
So, if you are reading my blog it is because I want you to be my prayer warrior. I want you to be my encouragement. I want you to hold me accountable to what seems to be my never ending journey.
Today, I worked out for the first time in a long time. I can't remember the last time I worked out. So, my goal for this week starting today is to work out a total of 3 days for 30 minutes. My food goal for the week is to write down everything I eat and no more cokes. IF you see me with a coke, take it out of my hand!!(I"m not even kidding, and I know a few of you will really do this!) My spiritual goal for the week is to truly get back to a daily quiet time!
Check in here weekly to see how I'm doing. Other than that I'm sure I will get on here more than that and write.

Below is a poem I wrote sometime ago that seemed to sum up what my weight issue is truly about. I hope it becomes part of my inspiration!

Behind these prison walls, I have been for so long
That I call this place my home
With every hurt and pain, every brick was laid
And I don't even know I'm lonely
Cause this is all I've ever known
And if onlyI would take the key I possess and unlock my happiness
Live this life I have to live
Stand in the freedom that you give
Take hold of who you are and what I could be
I would find myself completely free;
Oh, how good it would feel to be free

But, I return to those walls, and walk my quiet halls
No one can hurt me here
In my barren rooms of my own sad solitude
And I don't even know what I'm missing
Cause this is all I've ever known
And if onlyI would take the key I possess and unlock my happiness
Live this life I have to live
Stand in the freedom that you give
Take hold of who you are and what I could be
I would find myself completely free;
Oh, how good it would feel to be free

So I took the key because I had to see just how it felt to be free
And the walls came down
Healing for my hurt and pain, tearing down the bricks that were laid
I just walk away
Cause this is all I ever want to know
And I finally, yes, I finally
Used that key I posessed; I unlocked my happiness
I'm living this life I have to live
Standing in the freedom I've been given
I'm finding out just who you are and what I can be
And I'm finally breaking free
Oh, how good it feels to be free
Free....Free